hey there, sir!

FOR A NEW EFFING JOB AT BENEFIT COSMETICS



I'M MISTER MANAGER, BITCH!!!!!!!






it hasn't even hit me yet. omfg.

why haven't i married nathan fillion yet???


I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHY

EDIT: i would like to lick his throat, i think.

happy birthday, pablo picasso.

is so laughably bad!!


i'm so happy!

i barely even want to finish it because it's so bad. but i'm going to. because i deserve some laughs.

I MISS YOU NICKELODEON.

also:

ferngully
the swan princess
little nemo in SLUMBERLAND HELL YEAH

i was watching ferngully and remembered how much tim curry as hexxus TERRIFIED me as a child. if i recall, i had to leave the theater. i also forgot that chrysta the fairy was my childhood idol because she doesn't care what anyone thinks and she isn't all helpless like most disney mary-sues.

watching it still freaks me out, the part where hexxus is sucking all the gas, AAAAH.

so, i just downloaded the novel twilight from limewire since i didn't want to buy it, just to see how awful and cracktastic it is.

i am on page 35 and it is SO BAD OMG I LOVE IT. it's like eating something really greasy and gooey and cheesy: you KNOW you shouldn't be eating it, and you KNOW you'll eventually regret it, and it's actually VERY disgusting, but you do it anyway.

i am all about this piece of glorified fanfiction. i can't stand the main girl, so far, so i take much joy in reading about her life and how much she hates everything even though she's perfect. fuckin' mary-sue. haha.

after getting caught up on 99% of the current 30 rock episodes (i still have to finish the last episode of season one), i have come to this thrilling conclusion:

I AM LIZ LEMON.


BLERRRRRRG.

lj moms make me want to a) slit my throat and b) never have kids.

there's a post of maggie gyllenhaall breastfeeding her daughter (totally normal whatever) and of course all of the "lol gross" people are coming out, which brings out ALL the lurking lj moms, who are seriously WAITING for such posts to be made so they could go out and defend ATTACK anyone who states any opinion other than their own.

one mom got in a thread war with someone else, and gave the comment "oh, i'm sorry-- you must have been bottle fed."

bitch WHAT did you just say?

so i commented and said "not to be rude, but what do you mean by that? i was bottlefed because my mom couldn't breastfeed me. is that supposed to make me feel stupid or inferior?"

and she says:

"it's pretty well proven that breastfed babies are smarter... Unfortunitly we can't give extra IQ points to the babies of mothers that tried but couldn't breastfeed. It's pretty basic science... If you meet all of a persons nutrional needs, especially while their brain is developing, they end up smarter.

Like how formula now totes having DHA and ARA for brain development? It didn't used to. Breastmilk always has, along with lots of other important componants that human babies were DESIGNED to get."

GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF YOU DUMB BITCH. FUCK YOUR STATS AND SHOVE YOUR TIT INTO YOUR CHILD'S MOUTH.

(oh and by the looks of it, she was apparently bottle-fed because she can't even spell the fucking word UNFORTUNATELY)

Um, am I standing on my head?? because I feel like I'm talking out of my ass.

maybe i'm just mad because my mom didn't breastfeed me, and nor will i ever have the opportunity to breastfeed any kids of my own. but i'll be damned if some self-righteous lj mom will tell me that kids who don't breastfeed are automatically dumber than those who do. because i know a lot of fucking dumbasses who were breastfed.

and not to sound self-centered, but i think i turned out pretty fucking okay.